“to live a life of inspiration, to love, and enjoy each moment. to wake each day with balance, loving myself, and chasing my dreams to reality. to feed my soul, and even more the people and relationships that are precious to me.”

i know, who doesn’t want that right?

well, lately i’ve found myself making things a bit more complicated. focusing more on getting to a certain level in my career and carrying a fear that my work needs to be perfect before i can put myself out there and get to where i want to be, and to think i have to have all of these magical visions rather than focusing on the beautiful simplicity that i see through from my heart. through that, the past couple of weeks i have been forgetting to take care of myself which in the long run hinders my personal visions.  reflecting on that journal entry last night reminded me that it’s simple. and if we can all take the time each day to feed our souls more and more with the little things, and to really feed the relationships in our lives that feed us…we will be alive.  if we are our best self we can be, we will be the best for others and for our work. to focus more on what we internally need, our external selves will create a beautiful life.

i know this isn’t a new revelation, but it’s easy to forget in our modern society ruled by technology…and hey, we all need a little reminder every once in a while right? i woke up today feeling a little more enlightened with that little reminder in my head.

here are a few little things that would feed my soul that i’m going to start making more time for: yoga. run on the beach. candle lit bubble bath with a good book. walk through my neighborhood with my ipod and camera. sunset skateboard session. dates with friends/family. play around with new lighting techniques. keep learning and study more photography.

what are the little things that make you a better you?

i recently received a new book that i have been loving and i want to make more time to indulge in it. (thank you ulrich zinell) it’s taken me back to the history and basics of photography that we can all easily forget about in this over-saturated digital world and has challenged me to think in a different/good kind of way. check it out:

also, here are some amazing thoughts from mario greller on the beauty of keeping it simple. definitely check this out–click HERE

as my flight was approaching los angeles, i remember feeling almost a little scared of how i would feel to get off the plane and be back home.  i had just experienced so much and as soon as i landed it all felt like a dream.  a few days and photo shoots later i was back on a plane en route to visit my best friend in the whole wide world where i met her new baby girl twins and to visit my big, crazy/beautiful, obnoxious and loving family where i soaked up being a full time aunt, sister, and daughter and  i must admit, it never felt better to be in a room full of people who understand me in every way without having to say a word.

and finally, here i sit back in california where the memories are starting to feel a little more real, and it’s really good to see my people, to feel the ocean breeze, and even better to have some “me” time. the catch is though, that with all that i have just experienced…i feel straight up numb.  the past few mornings i have woken up wondering why i am feeling this way and wanting to pack another bag and go live in a tree house until i feel a little inspiration again, worried that i need to have this whole photography journey figured out right now…when i’m usually the first to tell others to enjoy the journey to get there.

tonight i had a moment of realization that i’m all of a sudden conflicted between the known vs. the unknown for no real reason because the truth is, that i’m right where i’m suppose to be. we all are. and that in itself is inspiring because with the unknown there is so much room to create beauty. i’ve got a heavy stirring in my heart to rule out the things in my life that aren’t helping me get to where i want to be with photography, to sacrifice things that aren’t a need in order to completely submerge myself on many other technical photography levels, to give myself a space to create and to rule out any limitations.  today it was the simple things that put a smile on my face—-the perfectly soft ocean breeze as i walked down the venice boardwalk with one of my best friends talking about life and collaborations. how good i feel when i wear my bright coral colored jeans just because it means summer time is here. and spent the evening celebrating new beginnings with friends that just opened a beautiful store.

what i’m trying to say is this whole journey isn’t easy. BUT it’s worth it. any of us who put ourselves out there visually or in any sort of creative way are going to go through these times because our emotions are involved in our work. so, this time i’m choosing to embrace it. when we are caught between the known vs. the unknown it really just means we are manifesting some beauty that’s about to burst.  i’m excited.

another thing that has soothed my soul today is the thistled spring album by horse feathers.